Murphy's Law : Author Unknown

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<command type="random">
<in>!murphy</in>
<out>#c?# A slice of buttered bread, when dropped, will always land butter-side down.</out>
<out>#c?# The day you forget your umbrella, it'll pour down with rain.</out>
<out>#c?# When you need an item that is in a heap, it will always be the one at the bottom.</out>
<out>#c?# Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.</out>
<out>#c?# When caught in a traffic jam, the lane that you are in will always be the slowest to move.</out>
<out>#c?# Junk will grow to fill the available cupboard space.</out>
<out>#c?# Anything dropped in the bathroom will fall into the toilet.</out>
<out>#c?# Everything takes longer than you think.</out>
<out>#c?# A falling object will always land where it can do the most damage.</out>
<out>#c?# You will always find something you're looking for in the last place you look.</out>
<out>#c?# Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost you more than you thought.</out>
<out>#c?# If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.</out>
<out>#c?# If the possibility exists of several things going wrong, the one that will go wrong is the one that will do the most damage.</out>
<out>#c?# If it doesn't fit, use a bigger hammer.</out>
<out>#c?# Nothing is as easy as it looks.</out>
<out>#c?# Mother nature is a bitch.</out>
<out>#c?# Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.</out>
<out>#c?# Things get worse under pressure.</out>
<out>#c?# Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.</out>
<out>#c?# All great discoveries are made by mistake.</out>
<out>#c?# You will always find something in the last place you look.</out>
<out>#c?# When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly.</out>
<out>#c?# In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there.</out>
<out>#c?# Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.</out>
<out>#c?# The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.</out>
<out>#c?# It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.</out>
<out>#c?# The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.</out>
<out>#c?# Every solution breeds new problems.</out>
<out>#c?# It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.</out>
<out>#c?# Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.</out>
<out>#c?# When there is a very long road upon which there is a one-way bridge placed at random, and there are only two cars on that road, it follows that: (1) the two cars are going in opposite directions, and (2) they will always meet at the bridge.</out>
<out>#c?# Everything goes wrong all at once.</out>
<out>#c?# You never run out of things that can go wrong.</out>
<out>#c?# Murphy was an optimist.</out>
<out>#c?# Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.</out>
<out>#c?# The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.</out>
<out>#c?# Friendly fire ain't.</out>
<out>#c?# The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.</out>
<out>#c?# Incoming fire has the right of way.</out>
<out>#c?# Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.</out>
<out>#c?# All's well that ends.</out>
<out>#c?# The first myth of management is that it exists.</out>
<out>#c?# Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.</out>
<out>#c?# Any given program, when running, is obsolete.</out>
<out>#c?# To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.</out>
<out>#c?# Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.</out>
<out>#c?# The attention span of a computer is only as long as it electrical cord.</out>
<out>#c?# If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.</out>
<out>#c?# Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.</out>
<out>#c?# The faster a computer is, the faster it will reach a crashed state.</out>
<out>#c?# Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day's work.</out>
<out>#c?# Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what book.</out>
<out>#c?# After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.</out>
<out>#c?# If it's not in the computer, it doesn't exist.</out>
<out>#c?# When all else fails, read the instructions.</out>
</command>

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