Jokes In The Bot : Author Unknown

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<command type="random">
<in>!joke</in>
<out>Oral -sex- makes your day. Anal -sex- makes your HOLE WEAK</out>
<out>What's the -difference- between love, true love and showing off? Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.</out>
<out>How can you tell if your wife is dead? The -sex- is the same but the dishes pile up.</out>
<out>What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use a lubricant.</out>
<out>What's the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck</out>
<out>What do a dildo and soya beans have in common? They are both used as substitute meat.</out>
<out>Why do they sterilize the needle before a lethal injection.</out>
<out>You don't have to worry about avoiding temptation, As you get older, it avoids you</out>
<out>What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotopus</out>
<out>If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?</out>
<out>Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female.The female egg says "Look, I've got a crack", "No good telling me" replies the male egg "I'm not hard yet"</out>
<out>How are tornadoes and marriage alike? They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house</out>
<out>If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?</out>
<out>If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff?</out>
<out>Remember, when someone annoys you it takes forty-two muscles in your face to frown. but it only takes four muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap the mother (Censored) upside the head!</out>
<out>If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it homeless or naked?</out>
<out>Never be too open-minded, Your brain might fall out</out>
<out>No one is totally useless, We all make good compost</out>
<out>#c?#Breast Inspection 20 Feet Ahead (Please Have 'Em Out)</out>
<out>#c?#Im Not An Alcoholic! Im A Drunk! Alcoholics Go To Meetings!</out>
<out>#c?#Jesus Is Coming Look Busy</out>
<out>#c?#Driver Carries No Cash He's Married!</out>
<out>#c?#Take Your Ex Out Tonight (One Bullet Oughtta Do It)</out>
<out>#c?#Hang Up And Drive!!!</out>
<out>#c?#Drugs Lead Nowhere But Its The Scenic Route</out>
<out>#c?#Cant Feed 'Em? Dont Breed 'Em</out>
<out>#c?#I Child-Proofed My House But They Still Get In</out>
<out>#c?#The Shortest Sentence Is "I Am" The Longest Is "I Do"</out>
<out>#c?#Where The Hell Is Easy Street</out>
<out>#c?#If Money Is The Root Of All Evil, Why Do Churches Beg For It?</out>
<out>#c?#Keep Honking Im Reloading</out>
<out>#c?#Guns Dont Kill People Drivers With Cell Phones Do</out>
<out>#c?#Cat! The Other White Meat</out>
<out>#c?#Gun Control Means Using Both Hands</out>
<out>#c?#Work Harder Millions On Welfare Depend On You</out>
<out>#c?#Ever Stop To Think....And Forget To Start Again?</out>
<out>#NEWLINE#Knock Knock#NEWLINE#Who's there?#NEWLINE#Acid!#NEWLINE#Acid who?#NEWLINE#Acid down and be quiet!</out>
<out>#NEWLINE#Knock Knock#NEWLINE#Who's there?#NEWLINE#Ada!#NEWLINE#Ada who?#NEWLINE#Ada burger for lunch!</out>
<out>#NEWLINE#Knock Knock#NEWLINE#Who's there?#NEWLINE#Adair!#NEWLINE#Adair who?#NEWLINE#Adair once but I'm bald now!</out>
<out>#NEWLINE#Knock Knock#NEWLINE#Who's there?#NEWLINE#Adam!#NEWLINE#Adam who?#NEWLINE#Adam if I do and adam if I don't!</out>
<out>#NEWLINE#Knock Knock#NEWLINE#Who's there?#NEWLINE#Adelia!#NEWLINE#Adelia who?#NEWLINE#Adelia the cards and we'll play snap!</out>
<out>#NEWLINE#Knock Knock#NEWLINE#Who's there?#NEWLINE#Adlai!#NEWLINE#Adlai who?#NEWLINE#Adlai a bet on that!</out>
<out>#NEWLINE#Knock Knock#NEWLINE#Who's there?#NEWLINE#Adolf!#NEWLINE#Adolf who?#NEWLINE#Adolf ball hit me in the mouth!</out>
<out>#NEWLINE#Knock Knock#NEWLINE#Who's there?#NEWLINE#Aesop!#NEWLINE#Aesop who?#NEWLINE#Aesop I saw a puddy cat!</out>
<out>#NEWLINE#Knock Knock#NEWLINE#Who's there?#NEWLINE#Agatha!#NEWLINE#Agatha who?#NEWLINE#Agatha headache. Do you have an aspirin?</out>
<out>#NEWLINE#Knock Knock#NEWLINE#Who's there?#NEWLINE#Agnes!#NEWLINE#Agnes who?#NEWLINE#Agnes & Topeka & the Santa Fe!</out>
<out>#NEWLINE#Knock Knock#NEWLINE#Who's there?#NEWLINE#Ahmed!#NEWLINE#Ahmed who?#NEWLINE#Ahmedeus Motzart!</out>
<out>#NEWLINE#Knock Knock#NEWLINE#Who's there?#NEWLINE#Alaska!#NEWLINE#Alaska who?#NEWLINE#Alaska my friend the question then!</out>
<out>#NEWLINE#Knock Knock#NEWLINE#Who's there?#NEWLINE#Aida!#NEWLINE#Aida who?#NEWLINE#Aida lot of sweets and now I've got tummy ache!</out>
<out>#NEWLINE#Knock Knock#NEWLINE#Who's there?#NEWLINE#Al!#NEWLINE#Al who?#NEWLINE#Al give you a kiss if you open this door!</out>
<out>#NEWLINE#Knock Knock#NEWLINE#Who's there?#NEWLINE#Aladdin!#NEWLINE#Aladdin who?#NEWLINE#Aladdin the street wants a word with you!</out>
<out>#NEWLINE#Knock Knock#NEWLINE#Who's there?#NEWLINE#Alba!#NEWLINE#Alba!#NEWLINE#Alba in the kitchen if you need me!</out>
<out>#NEWLINE#Knock Knock#NEWLINE#Who's there?#NEWLINE#Albee!#NEWLINE#Albee!#NEWLINE#Albee a monkey's uncle!</out>
<out>#NEWLINE#Knock Knock#NEWLINE#Who's there?#NEWLINE#Albert!#NEWLINE#Albert who!#NEWLINE#Albert you don't know who this is!</out>
<out>#NEWLINE#Knock Knock#NEWLINE#Who's there?#NEWLINE#Alberta!#NEWLINE#Alberta who!#NEWLINE#Alberta'll be over in a minute!</out>
<out>#NEWLINE#Knock Knock#NEWLINE#Who's there?#NEWLINE#Alda!#NEWLINE#Alda who?#NEWLINE#Alda time you knew who it was!</out>
</command>

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