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Number of posts : 2447 Home : At Home Humor : If Im Not Back Later... Wait Longer Registration date : 2007-07-30
| Subject: Beer Is Good : Author Unknown Tue Jun 22, 2010 6:18 am | |
| thanks To Shakes for this funny one - Code:
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<command type="random"> <in>beer</in> <out>Beer is good, #c?# You can enjoy a beer all month. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't make you fat. It makes you lean (against doors, tables, walls). </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer stains wash out. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# You don't have to wine and dine a beer. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# When beer goes flat you toss it out. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer is never late.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer labels come off without a fight. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer never has a headache. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# After you have a beer, the bottle is still worth a dime. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# If you pour a beer right, you will always get good head. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer ALWAYS goes down easy. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# You can share a beer with your friends. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# You always know that you are the first one to pop a beer.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer is always wet. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't demand equality. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer doesn't care when you come.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# You can have a beer in public.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A frigid beer is a good beer. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer always comes in multiples of six.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't mind being in the "wet spot" that IT left. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a beer. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# After you have a beer, you're committed to nothing other than dumping the empty bottle. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves you thirsty.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# When your beer is gone, you just pop another.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# You rarely (if ever) find beer labels on the shower curtain rod.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer looks the same in the morning. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# If it goes flat just toss it out. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't look you up in a month. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't worry about someone walking in. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't worry about waking the kids. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't get cramps. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't have a mother.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't have morals. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't go crazy once a month. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer always listens and never argues. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer labels don't go out of style every year.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't whine, it bubbles. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't have cold hands/feet.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't demand legality. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer is never overweight. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer won't run off with your credit cards.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't have a lawyer.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't need much closet space. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer can't give your herpes or other nasty things. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't complain about the way you drive. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't mind if you fart or belch. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer never changes its mind. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't tease you or play hard to get. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer never asks you to change the station.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't make you go shopping.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't tell you to mow the grass. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer is always easy to pick up. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't pout or play games. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer NEVER says no.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer is easy to get into. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer never complains when you take it somewhere. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't need to go to the 'powder room' with other beers. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't wear a bra. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't mind getting dirty. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't complain about insensitivity.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't use up your toilet paper.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't live with its mother.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't blow you off. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't care if you have no culture or manners. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't bitch, yell, or cry. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't mind football season.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't make you go to church. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than a woman. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer doesn't think DOS is pronounced "dose". </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer doesn't give a fuck if you keep a bunch of other beers around. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer will not insist that those odious Michelin commercials with the babies are "cute". </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# If a beer leaks all over the room, it smells kinda good for a while.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't claim that the Three Stooges are shitheads. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the toilet seat up.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# If you mention a "three-hundred-fifty cubic-inch V8" around a beer, it won't care. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't whine that seatbelts hurt. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't smoke in your car. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer will never buy a car with automatic transmission. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer will actually support belching and farting.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer is always ready to leave on time. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer never fishes for compliments. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer tastes *good*.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't raise any objections to an evening of watching "John Holmes' Greatest Hits" again. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# An ice-cold beer will nonetheless let you have your way with it.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't make you pick up some tampons when you go to the grocery store. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't accuse you of lying when you say you read Penthouse "just for the articles"</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't fill up your car with cheesy 85-octane gas with the excuse: "But I saved a penny!" </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer will never make you go to a Swedish movie. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer will never make you turn off "Fists of Fury Theater" on channel 5 on Saturday afternoons. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't accuse you of being a sexist pig if you say "Gene Hackman" instead of "Gene Hackperson". </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't make you eat some experimental vegetarian meal that tastes like STP Oil Treatment.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# When you're through with a beer, the thought of another beer doesn't make you ill.</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# If you offer Demon a Beer he will be a happy camper. </out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# If Demon has Beer he may be convinced to DJ all night long :)</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer makes you kiss street lamps and tell them you love them</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer really does make you look like the best dancer on the planet</out> <out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer really does make you the sexiest person on the planet</out> </command>
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