Funny Sayings : By GameMaster

<config>//Funny.xml Gamemaster

<command type="random">
<in>!funny</in>
<out>How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?</out>
<out>How do you know when yogurt goes bad?</out>
<out>How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?</out>
<out>How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?</out>
<out>How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?</out>
<out>How fast do you have to go to keep up with the sun so you're never in darkness?</out>
<out>How is it possible to have a civil war?</out>
<out>If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?</out>
<out>If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?</out>
<out>If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?</out>
<out>If a tree fell on a mime in the forest, would he make a sound and would anyone care?</out>
<out>If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?</out>
<out>If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler?</out>
<out>If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?</out>
<out>If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?</out> 
<out>If God dropped acid, would he see people?</out>
<out>How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on?</out> 
<out>How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?</out>
<out>He who laughs last thinks slowest. </out>
<out>Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. </out>
<out>A day without sunshine is like, well, night. </out>
<out>Change is inevitable except from a vending machine.</out>
<out>I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.</out>
<out>Those who live by the sword... get shot by those who don't.</out>
<out>You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.</out>
<out>It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.</out>
<out>The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. </out>
<out>The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.</out>
<out>I wished the buck stopped here as I could use a few.</out>
<out>I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.</out>
<out>Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.</out>
<out>Its Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.</out>
<out>Always be wary of the Software Engineer who carries a screwdriver</out>
<out>As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.</out>
<out>Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't</out>
<out>Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf</out>
<out>Q: Why do woman get their belly buttons pierced?\n A: So they have a place to hang a air freshener!</out>
<out>Men marry women with the hope they will never change.\n Women marry men with the hope they will change.\n Invaribly they are both disappointed</out>
<out>Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk.\n Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and be quiet.</out>
<out>If you smoke after s e x you're doing it too fast.</out>
<out>Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?</out>
<out>Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before. </out>
<out>People who have no weaknesses are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them.</out>
<out>Chocolate. Coffee. Men.Some things are just better rich.</out>
<out>For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.</out>
<out>Having a baby changes the way you view your in-laws. I love it when they come to visit now. They can hold the baby and I can go out</out>
</command>
</config>